Post Surgery

5 days post surgery and I thought I’d be knitting a lot more.

1- you can’t knit on fentanyl. Or stay awake for long. You can order from zulily. Unfortunately.

2- you can’t knit well with an IV in you, especially if the tube goes across your body. It seemed cruel. I still tried

3- no matter how therapeutic, it’s hard to focus on knitting a row when they say cancer. And then tell you it’ll be a few weeks before you know what’s next

I have ovarian cancer and the surgeon may have gotten it all but we won’t know for some time. In the meantime I get to sit, unable to work or clean or even drive. I knit a row and think. I think too much to focus on even this sock.

What does cancer mean? It was caught early so I’m not investing in a casket any time soon. It means at worst, chemo. I’d be a horrible chemo patient. At best, a whole lot more filling out of doctors’ forms and not being able to put off said appointments. It means my body doesn’t function correctly, which I’ve known for years. It means I won’t hear- it’s just stress- when I get weird rashes or sharp pains in my stomach. It means everything changes.

And it means I’m knitting these socks for ME!